Intro to Adulting: Food

Okay, so adulting isn't always about money. It plays a huge part of it, most of it, but not all of it. Some of the time (All the time), you're eating. Let's not lie to ourselves here, the way to anybody's heart is through food. I find myself thinking about food at least every other minute. If I'm bored, I just want to walk up to a fridge and open it. Even if I was there a second ago. 

As usual, I don't know what I don't know, if you know, share your knowledge.

So about this food situation... 

Stock up your fridge

At some point in life, people need to be able to come into your house; Open your fridge, AND find actual food in there! The fridge is not there to set the atmosphere in the kitchen, it has actual use!

Like no seriously!

I'm always impressed by how empty the fridges at my friends' houses are.

...but you have all the zara in this life.

Or boys that have only ketchup and hotdogs IN. THE. FRIDGE. 

Bro, discover a grocery store!

But what if you don't usually go grocery shopping and you want to start, I have some advice for you.

Buy Rice

Please, you cannot be a full adult until you can literally say "there is rice at home!"

That is the honorary rite of passage. Everybody needs to have rice at home. The uncooked one, in a jar someplace. Even if you don't eat rice, just have it for pride sake. If not for you, do it for me!

Try a new kind of rice every once in a while. Brown rice, Jasmine rice, basmati, long grain parboiled. While we're at it, it's not just rice you should buy, consider buying Pasta as well. There is linguine, fettuccine, spaghettini, macaroni.  Buy potatoes too! Try it and see what works for  you.

Buy Proteins

I'm black so by default there is always chicken in my house. At the very least there should be some kind of chicken available for your salads. Something you can quickly toss into any meal. Chicken is a very generic protein, it goes with everything and anything. Get some!

I'm Nigerian so there needs to be beef at every corner of my food. We eat way too much beef as Nigerians. I'm pretty sure we eat every single part of the cow. The tongue, kidneys, liver, the leg, the tail, like fam! We don't waste cows!

Once you've covered your basic protein needs, you can start getting curious. Some people eat "gamey" meats. You can start trying stuff to see what you like. I've had chats with people that love Bison, Kangaroo, Deer, Moose, Buffalo, it goes on. Try it at your comfort level and go from there.

Learn to buy chicken, beef, tofu if necessary. Learn how to season it!

Salt alone is not seasoning. 

... to that point. 


You people that sprinkle only salt & black pepper and claim you've seasoned the food, God is watching!

Please, buy seasoning! I'm talking about curry, basil, parsley, Maggi, Knorr, Jamaican curry, paprika, garlic! 

Discover peppers! There are bell peppers, thai chilli peppers, scotch bonnet peppers, habaneros, ghost peppers, jalapeños! 

EVEN SALT! There is Table salt, Kosher salt, Sea salt, Himalayan salt.

Spice up your life, please!

Buy Condiments

I know my boys always have ketchup! So I don't need to say much there. However, that is not the only condiment you should have at home.

I suggest you have BBQ sauce on hand. it's not only at McDonald's you can get it! There are even chicken and rib versions of the sauce.

Get you some hot sauce, tabasco or sriracha should cover you. Get mayonnaise, mustard, relish, if you don't like it, you have friends that like it.

Buy Fruits

Fruits are generally nature's snacks, that's how I see them anyways. They don't take any prep work. You just cut it open and it's time to eat up! They are healthy.  Most are sweet! They give a good sugar rush. They can be mixed. They make you look like you've joined fit fam. 

I'm talking apples, pineapples, bananas, strawberries, oranges, berries, cherries.

You name it! 

Buy Snack-ables

If you're the type that can't wait till you've finished cooking and you get "hangry" all the time.

Hangry, an unfortunate state where a human being becomes a wild animal because said person is hungry.

Please buy snacks at the grocery store!

Buy (deez) nuts; cashew nuts, peanuts, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, pecan. 

You can also buy cookies, chocolate, granola bars, cake, turnovers, just go to the grocery store! 

Buy Vegetables!

Dear friends, I am not an advocate for fitness or healthy eating like that. All I know is at some point, if you continue feeding your body junk and fast food, your body will begin to deteriorate faster than you can understand.

6 pacs will fade, exciting body parts will sag and your face will become government issued ID.

Please, before it gets a chance to be bad, discover vegetables at your local food store.

Get tomatoes, onions, broccoli, peas, mushrooms, olives, spinach, kale(not so bad), lettuce, celery, carrots, radish, etc

Just buy the bag of mixed vegetables, that should start you out.   

Buy Hot beverages

I'm not a coffee person, but I kindly suggest you discover a hot beverage that soothes you. I personally like hot chocolate but I will have green tea as a backup. That's as far as I go. However, some people can tell you about black tea, green tea, white tea, jasmine tea, skinny tea, tiny tea, earl grey tea. I don't know much about all that, but find something that works for you. (These are all actual teas by the way, I didn't make this up, google it)

While we're on things to drink, reduce your pop intake. Excessive sugar is not useful. Juice is good, however remember to drink water. I have a friend who will probably have a warehouse of fruitopia some day. I've never seen so much dedication to juice in my life. I love him to death though. 

Sha, drink water.

Buy plantain

My face lit up the moment I thought about plantain! 

Beloved, let us come together in unity and make a commitment to buy plantain regularly.

Plantain is happiness, plantain is joy, plantain is plantain! 

75.6% of all work-related stress can be cured by a fresh plate of fried plantain. (60% of my stats are made up)

Plantain on its own will solve a lot of your stress. Let's say you now garnish it some gizzard, some sauce with caramelized onions, some fried tomatoes and bell peppers for color. Throw in a healthy dose of stewed beef so the gizzard won't feel alone. Thank you Jesus!

Let me stop here, please buy plantain. It will change your life!


Hakuna matata!