Lagos JJC - Banking Edition (Trilogy)

For Context, you will need Part II

Day 4

With my bank account number in hand, ID still required, it was time for BVN. If I had to be back in the bank again, it was going to be impossible because I'd be out of the country. So with the last possible work day available today would be now or never. 

Enrolling for a BVN is a simple process, provide your account number(s), scan your fingerprints, take a picture. Again, provide your account number(s), scan fingerprints, take a picture. Very Straightforward. It really can't become an entire production, can it? 

So I get there, first hiccup, I'm told the person authorized to do it is on holiday. What?! I was told just yesterday that I should be here today. Just as I'm about to start laughing at this mess, Capt. Money comes to the rescue, for every bank branch there are two people authorized, but with the capacity at the bank, only one person had been doing it, he was the second but had not used his credentials in a while. Nonetheless he had access and authority to enrol me. 

Next, the computer specifically designated for this BVN process was now refusing to work, between slow network connection and other technical difficulties. While starting and restarting the computer, they would try to log in but the credentials would fail. This took another hour just to get the computer to work. 

Finally, it has required 3 gentlemen to get the computer running. Upon getting the computer to work, the website to send the secure information to locked them out for multiple failed login attempts. This is with both the credentials of the two people authorized in the branch. So to go above and beyond for me, the branch manager kindly requests for another authorized person from a neighbouring branch. 

While I wait, I decide to exercise my newly opened US dollar account and make a first deposit of the small change I have on me. At least, I'd know the account is active.  The teller quickly reports to me, unfortunately you CANNOT make a deposit into this account. 

Excuse the Jesus out of me. What? 

Apparently, by the directive of the Central Bank of Nigeria, they cannot accept US dollars deposits but I can definitely withdraw if I had some in the account previously. I can transfer money, send money, withdraw money, I just can't put cash into my account. I have never been more shocked. How am I supposed to be able to do all these transactions if I can't put money there in the first place?

Anyway, the guy from the other branch arrives in record time considering the distance, my mom is visibly tired and has found a spot to rest. He takes his seat across from me behind the computer and starts doing his thing. He instantly laughs and exclaims, "You people are logging into the wrong site now!!" it is THIS one!

At this point, all I want to do is go home. I'm not even interested anymore. I can't put money in my account that I've spent 4 days trying to achieve, what's the actual point? At least I have a savings account that might be useful but even then, the debit card won't be ready for another 5 business days which I won't be around to get or use.

 I guess did ask God to help me open the account, next time, I will ask for an account I can actually get to use.